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There's a measure of reckless abandon involved.
You have to set the awkwardness aside and not give a shit if you embarrass yourself. So, your best tool in carrying conversations and engaging people is asking questions.
Sure I can, but I don't feel like trying too hard either.
However, I still prefer face to face conversation and want to keep texting minimal.
I have to throw a mental switch to be "on" for the duration of the meeting/date/party/event.
I'm not sure I can articulate it in a useful way but I just make a concerted effort to be extroverted.
Dating is kind of scary in general, particularly the online variety where every first date is, for all intents and purposes, a blind one.Also, if you're not good at small talk, then make it big talk. When a conversation lulls, clever segues are nice but it's ok to make abrupt subject changes, too. This, or otherwise make some compromises to your aloofness (yes, it's a word). I'm very aloof and don't pull shit off at all.With all of that said, it's ok if a conversation doesn't flow. If you can't engage another person, then they are either not interested or may not be a good match. Making that first contact but even more so establishing continuous contact is really hard when you hate stuff like texting.And, generally, people like an opportunity to talk about themselves or share their thoughts.Ask the other person questions and they do all the talking.