White man dating a black woman
It was something I got to see first-hand and it irrevocably changed my perspective on white people’s complicity with the status quo.
He wasn’t wrong when he realized that I didn’t like white people because of their acceptance, expectation, and adoration of exploitation, harm, and murder…an adoration they constantly lie to themselves about but we witness throughout history and anytime a gun debate arises.
So, he lives with the knowledge and reminders that whiteness is a globally enforced, psychological terror system that is utterly destructive and he has to constantly work at not being an agent for that system.
Thar it meant interrogating his assumptions and judgments and perspectives every day, multiple times a day. in no uncertain terms that they are not welcome in my life or my home, ever.
We both had work to do, but his work was in learning and understanding the individual actions and systemic structures that exploit and condemn people to a limitless toxic environment that was always evolving in its oppression.
I needed to learn just how much white people not just didn’t give a fuck but enjoyed the power they denied having.
All I found there was mountains of shittiness glorifying whiteness without talking about maintaining my space and identity in my relationship.
I received so much shitty, hateful, and ridiculous information that I stopped trying to talk to people about my relationship and started searching online.
Some hate it so much that they are outing themselves as nazis and actively recruiting, while other white people tell themselves they are allies until it’s time to believe and support Black people, at which point they eject from the conversation and immerse themselves with other white al-LIES about being punished despite being good to Black people. We legit had to take a break for 20 minutes to realize how damn ridiculous it was.
I, myself, was guilty of thinking that white people gave a fuck until I started building a life with one. No one in a long-term relationship will say that shit is easy all of the time. and I have almost come to blows over soap dispensers. I was prepared for conflict, even super petty shit like that.
I was told again and again that I deserved my problems and that it was my responsibility to figure out how to navigate it without driving him off with my racism talk or to leave him because he’d never understand what it was to be Black.
I was also accused of aligning myself with whiteness and this was my punishment for it.