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“She was everything I wanted in a roommate,” he recalls. Thinking about what the house could become with Justine and I running the show was exciting to me.” One night, he went out to an Amsterdam Avenue bar with Justine and some friends.They felt a mutual chemistry, and they split a cab home: “The night was unbelievably romantic and perfect.And there’s this lovely rationalization that says, ‘Go as fast as you can, because if you’re not suited for one another, you might as well find out sooner rather than later.’ ” When he returned from a summer trip to Europe, things weren’t the same.The connection wasn’t there—and what’s more, the place that he and Justine had once so enthusiastically cared for together had gotten messy, which depressed him.
(Eventually, they agreed the cheap bed wasn’t working.) If their dating was bad for the roommates, being roommates was just as bad for the dating.“The brother introduced us,” she recalls, “and said, ‘Are you attracted to her? If so, do not under any circumstances move in together.’ Sam was short and fat, so I said, ‘No problem.’ ” He moved in, and they got along well—a little too well.“Within a month, everybody was saying, ‘You guys are so great together,’ ” Deirdre says. The allure of everybody saying that, combined with the pressure not to, led us to do it.” It didn’t bother her that he was unattractive; as any seasoned single girl knows, those guys get all the women, because women assume they won’t cheat.“It was kind of a slight when I’d say, ‘I think I want to sleep alone tonight,’ ” says Alex.“When you take away the whole ‘I don’t want to get on the subway and go all the way over’ conversation, saying you want to sleep alone sounds a little insensitive.” But at the same time, he liked the intensity.