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Eric has been using a couple of online dating websites off and on for the past year, with very little success.
He spends time every day carefully browsing through profiles and looking for women who he feels share his same interests – beyond the dating site’s algorithm which promises to perform its own magic in matchmaking. I spent hours trying to create a profile that shows people what I’m really like. Sure, I get a lot of profile “views”, but no messages.
That was one of the main reasons I called it quits.
It made me SO uncomfortable that guys so much older than me, older than most of my siblings (all of which are 8 years plus older than me), were sending me messages telling me that I was “hot”.
Like, OKCupid gives you a percentage of match or non-match you are with certain people.
Being a nice guy is probably the worst thing to be when it comes to online dating.
Secondly of course is that the profile gives me some feeling that there could be chemistry. Part of me thinks that they’re just so overwhelmed with messages from so many guys that they just pick the few that strike them as the “best” and just ignore the rest. It’s weird to me because if I didn’t normally have girls asking me out in real life, or showing that they are attracted to me, I’d probably start to develop a complex or something.
Maybe I’m just not really portraying myself very well in my profile or something. RD: Do you think the algorithm and the other tools the dating sites offer help at all? I mean, I like the fact that you can IM with people when they’re online if you want, but as far as the “matching algorithm” goes, I don’t think it really works very well.
To get some insight into what women go through on these dating websites, I pulled aside one of my family members who I knew had spent some time on these sites looking for her future spouse. Actually, now that I think about it, that was how most of the messages I got started.
By the time of this interview, she had already given up and moved on, finally discovering her future husband while visiting old friends at her alma mater. Ryan (RD): What year did you sign up with an online dating website and how long did you keep your account? I don’t know, maybe some girls might think of that as a compliment but personally, I would have preferred a simple message like, “Hey, would you like to talk?